So, it’s almost Valentine’s day and you forgot to get a date… again.  No worries if you are a disbeliever in “Hallmark holidays”, but if you are a hopeless romantic, it can be slightly depressing.  Fortunately, you still have a couple days to try to catch a date.  The best strategy–cheesy one-liner pick-up lines.

The beauty of one-liners is that they are simple, show your sense of humour, inexpensive, and don’t involve plots, ploys, or other people.  And the best part–the answer you get back is straight forward; the reciever will either look at you awkwardly (and possibly run away) or smile and giggle at you.  You want the latter.

Getting the right pick up line for the right person can be a little tricky though. There are websites claiming to have the best pick up lines, like http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/ (that has a physics and math subsection) or http://www.mademan.com/mm/nerdy-pick-lines.html, but the best ones are unique.

Take a spin off of an old pick-up line.
Examples:
1.  Instead of: “I wish I was your derivative so I could lay tangent to your curves all night”, try “I wish I was your integral so I could fill the space under your curves.”
2.  Instead of “You’re one in a million”, try “You are further than 4.891638 standard deviations from the mean.”  (I thought of this one immediately following my statistical mechanics professor telling the class, “There is nothing fishy about the Poisson distribution.”)

Or think of something new and sciencey!  Maybe something that relates to current research.
Example:  You are like the discovery of faster-than-light neutrinos–too good to be true.

Do you have good pick-up lines that may be useful for someone else?  Post them as a comment here!