As perhaps relevant background information, it has been well determined by scholarly study that the average number of nerdy, geeky researchers per science department at Canadian universities stands at around 1.7 for males, and 0.46 for females.

The theft of a valued Star Trek sweater from one of ‘this’ cohort in our department has left people shaken, angry, and scared.
“It’s like taking a pacifier away from a baby”, related technical staff member Henry.
“He’s okay now, but it was touch and go until we knew that the sweater had been recovered”, said boss Blaine.
“We thought that it was an April Fools joke, perhaps perpetrated by those who pulled our leg about London considering an LRT system”, said Chair Bob.

Volunteers scoured the building after the sweater had been reported missing yesterday. The victim was covered in a blanket and kept warm and strapped down to his chair, “For his own safety”, admitted Chair Bob.
He was later taken to be cared for by his young daughters. “They know how best to calm him”, said wife Sheila.
“Everyone is just so relieved that the sweater was found, tucked behind the victim’s own Star Wars lunch pail and Toy Story thermos on his desk”, said office mate Geron.



“He often tells us that his things have gone missing, but we normally never believe him. This time is seemed different. Luckily there was a happy ending. Still everyone is quite relieved”, said staff member Brian. “And I had nothing to do with it”, he added.






















