Jokes from the desk of a graduate student: Vol. 1

Are you ready to LAUGH?! [Only Elizabeth Laird appropriate jokes] 

When Mr. Leno of the Tonight Show went J-walking and asked pedestrians some science questions, he discovered some amazing new facts about the Universe: 

Jay Leno: “Why does dew appear on plants in the morning when the Sun comes up?” A waitress: “Is it because the Sun makes them perspire?” 

Jay Leno: “Why does the Moon orbit the Earth?” An auto mechanic: “To get to the other side?” 

Jay Leno: What are magnets?” A taxi driver: “Are they the things crawling over a week-old dead cat?” 

Jay Leno: Which is more useful, the Sun or the Moon?” A thirteen-year old: [Pause] “I think it’s the Moon because the moon shines at night when you want the light, whereas the Sun shines during the day when you don’t need it.” 

It is reported that Copernicus’ parents said the following to him at the age of twelve: “Copernicus, young man, when are you going to come to terms with the fact that the world does not revolve around you.” 

Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar: and doesn’t. 

Light travels faster than sound, that’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

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